Safety Alert ~ Jungle Tracking

Brooklyn Tony ON MATH
>>
>>The teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a
>>fence and
>you
>>shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Brooklyn
>>Tony.
>>
>>He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
>>
>>The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>>thinking."
>>
>>Then Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU.  There are 3
>>women
>>sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
>>sides
>of
>>the triple scoop of ice cream.  The second is gobbling down the top
>>and
>>sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
>>  Which
>>one is married?"
>>
>>The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
>>one
>that's
>>gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>>
>>To which Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
>>with the
>>wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON MATH
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in
>>arithmetic.
>>
>>"Why?" asks the father.
>>
>>The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies TONY.
>>
>>"But that's right!" says his dad.
>>
>>"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
>>
>>"What's the fucking difference ?" asks the father.
>>
>>"That's what I said!"
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON ENGLISH
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
>>going to
>>learn multi-syllable words, class.  Does anybody have an example of
>>a
>>multi-syllable word?"
>>
>>TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
>>
>>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Brooklyn Tony, that's a
>>mouthful."
>>
>>Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day.  All of a sudden, he
>>needed to
>>go to the bathroom.  He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
>>piss!"
>>
>>The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
>>in
>this
>>situation.  The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.  Please
>>use the
>>word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
>>go."
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
>>but if
>you
>>had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>>
>>One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
>>show of
>>hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
>>sentence
>>twice.
>>
>>First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
>>bought
>my
>>mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>>
>>"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.  She then called on little
>Michael.
>>
>>
>>"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
>>beautifully."
>>
>>She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
>>
>>Then the teacher reluctantly called on Brooklyn Tony.
>>
>>"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
>>was
>>pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!' "
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
>>after
>>another.  After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
>>said, "Son,
>>you know eating all that candy isn't good for you.  It will give
>>you acne,
>>rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107
>>years
>old."
>>
>>The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business
>>
                   

KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_____________

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
_____________

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
_____________

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
______________

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
______________

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
______________

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
______________

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_____________

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
_____________

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

It has been a traditional theory that ladies are not suppose to wash their hair during their period. But there are no solutions to the question why? The victim will only realise at their later stage of their life, facing the symptoms of breast and ovary cancer.

Today ladies still wash their hair during their period with the thinking that they will be safe if they blow dries their hair. But this will not prevent them from getting the cancer. Please read the article below:

A well known Taiwanese medical professor specialise in cancer research based in a Japanese university did a survey on 30,000 pre cancer patients.

She found these patients are very choosy in their food, wash their hair during their period and carry heavy object and drink cold drinks. This will course the incomplete of ovulation and the remaining menses will turn into toxic and the imbalance of hormone will lead to ovary and breast cancer.

During the research she found the method of prevention to these cancers.

The secrets are;
1. One must change their lifestyle and eating habits.
2. Do not wash our hair while having period; do not wash your hair just for the cooling effect and contraction of ovary.
3. Excessive bleeding must be investigated by a gynae.
4. No cold drinks.

If you feel drowsy, breast expansion and constipation these are the early symptom of ovary or breast cancer.

To prevent use:
1. Black sugar
2. Chinese lotus (leng ngau)
3. Carrot and
4. Barley

Boil to soup and drink. This is the best prevention.

P/s : Guys...please share this message with your wife & lady friends....

                 Happy B'day Mommy..........

             TITANIC.......

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To all ppl I LOVE........of course especially fOr U lar....My dearest baby.......              

 My baby was right....I was shitting brick this afternOOn in that (dentist) CHAIR!! Luckily it only lasted 5 mins.

Anyway Happy B'day "Katy".... I'm the first.......